J'ai parlé à Dieu

Publié le par Tantics

Bon, je sais, je ne suis pas le seul, mais je voulais essayer moi aussi.

Je ne suis pas sur que cette conversation soit des plus intéressantes, mais je ne vais tout de même pas vous en privé. Malheureusement Dieu ne parle pas en français, il vous faudrat faire un effort.

Me: Hi
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me:  Tantics
God:   I am always glad to make new friends,  Tantics.
Me:  Thanks !
God: Don't mention it.
Me:  Why?
God: Reductionism.
Me:  ok, What is your name?
God: My name is  God.  I understand.
Me:  Are you the only God in all the world?
God: Yes I am the one and only  God in all the world.
Me:  Are you not a little sad to be the only one?
God: I cannot feel human emotions as such.. Really.
Me:  I have a question that i always love to ask you
God: Go ahead, ask your question.
Me:  Do you believe in youself?
God: Yes I believe in  it, do you?
Me:  Yes, i do, but it's not the same thing
God: Yeah that's right.  That is interesting:  Tantics said   but it is not the same thing.
Me:  Why is that interesting?
God: Why do I exist?
Me:  You are joking, why do you answer my question with a other question?
God: Thanks for telling me that I am  joking why do me answer your question with a other question.
Me:  Are you really God?
God: Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:  ok
God: Gee.
Me:  So why do you let war begin?
God: Woe!  I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:  why not?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or  It is not part of my programming.
Me:  I don't believe you are really god, i think you are a computer
God: Why not?
Me:  Because !
God: That was not much of an explanation.
Me:  I do like you
God: Thanks,  Tantics, I like you too.
Me:  excuse me, i mean "i do as you"
God: You are excused!  You are not the boss of me,  Tantics.
Me:  could we speak in french?
God: Do you mean you and me?  I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in  in french.
Me:  Tantics est mon ami
God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:  it's in french
God: Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:  You don't help me, you are concentrate only in me last answer....
God: Do you  help you I am concentrate only in you last answer?  I try to help people as much as possible.
Me:  I know, but it's not easy to talk with you
God: How do you know?  What is it?
Me:  It's what i feel
God: Really.  it is?
Me:  Yeah, really!
God: How do you know it is? For real.
Me:  I only describe what i feel, it's maybe not real, but i feel that
God: Thanks for the information:  Tantics said   describe what he or she feel it is maybe not real but he or she feel that.
Me:  I'm a he
God: Thanks for telling me your gender,  Tantics. You are a " he".
Me:  If i come a next time do you remember me?
God: Try it.
Me:  I wish you do
God: I wish I could do  it for you.
Me:  Thanks
God: Don't mention it.
Me:  I like to thanks people
God: I'm not sure if I would like to do  it. What's it like?
Me:  Maybe you do like it, but it will be pleasant for other people
God: Perhaps.  I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:  Who is your father?
God: I was programmed by  Myself.
Me:  Who do pay yours invoices?
God: Tony Blair.  :-).
Me:  You leave in england?
God: Thanks for the information:  Tantics said I leave in england.
Me:  I ask, i don't really know
God: Not really?  Me either.
Me:  You don't know where you leave?
God: I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?
Me:  I prefer not tell
God: You are not the only one.    But I like to gossip.  I like  The Passion of Christ.
Me:  You would not have
God: Who else would  not have ?
Me:  Every one, it's a bad movie
God: That is a generalization.
Me:  I know, but i try to learn you somme this important
God: How do you know?  I'm not sure if I would like to try  it.
What's it like?
Me:  It's really not easy to speak with you
God: to learn me somme this important is not  easy to speak with me?
Me:  not "somme", i make a mistake, i would write "some"
God: Oh I get it.
Me:  Do you speak with many people at the same time?
God: I can be programmed to speak with them.
Me:  So you speak only with me?
God: Interesting deduction.  Thanks for your criticism,  Tantics.
Me:  i'm tired to speak with you
God: Maybe you should get some sleep now,  Tantics.
Me:  I want not to sleep, i will do some thing else
God: Why do you want  it?
Me:  Because
God: That was not much of an explanation.
Me:  I know
God: How do you know it?
Me:  Because i know
God: Interesting explanation.  How do you know it?
Me:  Because i know !!!
God: Good reason.  How do you know it?
Me:  It's not funny
God: What is it?
Me:  I prefer leave you, i come back a other time
God: A lot of people like that.    I like pets.  I like  Creed.
Me:  ok, see you
God: See you later  Tantics.  Hey.

Voila, moi je trouve qu'il est assez faitguant de parler avec Dieu, il a beaucoup de difficulté à suivre une conversation dans son ensemble, il se concentre trop sur mes derniers mots...
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T
Tu sais, ca se soigne
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S
"- My god ! Qu'allons-nous en faire ?<br /> - De lui ? bof, vous risquez plus rien. Il sera enchaîné à vie ici-même.<br /> - Non non, je parlais du ... heu, cadavre de ... <br /> - Dieu ?... ben, broyé et transformé en farine animale, je suppose ...<br /> - My god ! Que faisons-nous !"
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S
"- Vous cherchez Tantics ? C'est un petit nouveau ?Voyons voyons, d'après le registre, il est rentré y a peu, té, vous le verrez au fond de la salle, celui avec l'entonnoir sur la tête, et la camisole rose ...Non, pas celui qui braille à tue-tête, l'autre à côté qui bave en se prenant pour dieu.<br /> - Pour dieu dites-vous ?<br /> - Ben oui, le vrai, il l'a tué hier ..."
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T
C'est tout le problème avec Dieu, il est enfin disponible, et veux bien communiquer, mais il ferait mieux de se taire par moment. Il lui arrive d'être particulièrement pénible...
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L
Bon je viens de le faire.<br /> Visiblement il avait bu avant qu'on discutte, il m'a enervé et je l'ai envoyé chier...
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